As a matchmaker, it feels sometimes as though I always have an eye out for single, happy people.I think it’s important to clarify I don’t think there is anything wrong with being single. I actually penned a column on that issue and it can be found on my website — holmesiswheretheheartis.ca — under the blog section, dated Jan. 5, 2018, and titled Single and Proud.To ask somebody, “Why are you single?” is inappropriate. There could be many reasons — perhaps a person wants time to get over a divorce, maybe a widow or widower is not interested in finding another partner or it could be that some people are happy with their life and do not want a partner.I find it more concerning when I come across people who always need to have a partner in their life. As soon as one relationship dissolves, they are looking for a replacement. That tells me they are filling a void.
You may not give this fact much thought, but here is the truth you may not want to hear. Most people who are currently married, dating or living together will end up alone one day. That is because most couples don’t die together. So, if you don’t know how to be a single, independent, happy person on your own, it’s going to be a tough situation to face when it happens. And, for most of us, it will happen. More Canadians are living alone now than ever before. Singles now eclipse couples with children as the largest demographic group in Canada. I know people who live alone, but they are not lonely. I also know people who live with their spouse, but they are lonely.
There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. If you have been struggling lately with trying to be happy on your own, here are some helpful quotes to get you thinking in a more thankful way as we head into this Thanksgiving weekend:1. “If you can’t be comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” — Mandy Hale.2. “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.” — Wayne Dyer.3. “You are never alone. You are eternally connected to everyone.” — Amit Ray.Lastly, remember a season of loneliness and isolation is when a caterpillar gets its wings.I would like to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. May you find much to be thankful for in your relationship, your family, your friends, your health and your job. But, more than anything ,may you find the most gratitude when you are alone. If you are happy and single and want to share that with someone else, contact me by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.