What’s Your Type?

There is a question of which I am not a big fan.
In fact, I think the question is only appropriate in a health-care setting when discussing a blood donation. The question I am referring to is “What’s your type?”
Maybe you are A, B or O, but I don’t really believe people have a specific type when it comes to dating. In fact, if they do have a type they keep being drawn to, I think it’s evident it’s just not working.  I had a woman tell me her type is the Bad Boy look, with the rugged face, facial hair, tattoos, leather jacket and motorbike. Then she proceeded to tell me she has been cheated on three times. I am not suggesting all guys who fit this description are unfaithful, but I am saying the woman is obviously repeating a bad repetitive cycle of bringing cheaters into her life, so shouldn’t that be a sign to consider trying other types?

Then there are the men who say they like the Girl Next Door type, one who isn’t high maintenance and can throw her hair into a ponytail and sit by the campfire. Yet when push comes to shove, they keep getting drawn into the images online, with the duck lips, tight dresses and extra long eyelashes. They get distracted by all the filters these women use and they are not at all what they originally described to me as what they were looking for.

I can prove there isn’t such a thing as a specific type for each person. Think of anyone you know who has been married more than once. Do their spouses look the same? I asked this question on my social media pages and many men and women who had been married two or three times responded and  said their spouses looked nothing alike. Some had the same names and birthdates, but that was pretty much it.
I even looked at some celebrities. Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes. They look nothing alike. Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt and Billy Bob Thornton. Again, nothing alike. Cher was married to Sonny Bono, a short, dark-haired guy with a moustache, and also to Greg Allman, a tall rock star with long, blond hair. Drew Barrymore, Kate Winslett, Demi Moore and many more all married different-looking men. 

I understand if someone is “used to” a certain look if they were married to them for a long time.  Perhaps you are only used to a tall man, or someone in uniform, or a blue collar fellow. But overall, I think qualities in a person can also be attractive — funny, faithful, smart, kind and healthy. 
I have been married twice. My first husband is tall, thin and has dark hair. My current husband is my height, muscular and has red, curly hair. My husband was previously with a tall, fair-haired woman and I am a short brunette. She is now married to a tall ,bald man. So all of us are different-looking people. 

Some people think the old-fashioned stereotype of tall, dark and handsome is their type. Where does that leave the tall, blond and handsome? Or short, red and sporty? Or curvy and sexy? There are so many different beautiful physical features on people and many of them also have great characteristics. Most come with some past trauma of some kind, but it’s nicely packed away and they are ready to move on. 

So, when I ask you to consider meeting one of my amazing clients, instead of saying, “Not my type,” how about replying, “Sure, why not?” Otherwise, you can focus on what type you are at the next blood donor clinic, which, by the way, is on Oct. 5 at the Oasis Church (formerly the Calvary Temple), at 1205 Rogers Way in Aberdeen.