Have you noticed that when you run into an old acquaintance or someone you haven’t seen in a while, and you exchange pleasantries, the conversation will include information about how busy, busy, busy that person is? I say the same thing. It’s because we are all busier in our lives — more than ever. Many are balancing careers, families, kids, fitness and so much more. By the time the end of the day rolls around, we are exhausted. Many of us are connected all day to our devices and we even answer work emails just before our heads hit the pillow. We are living in what is known as the Gig Economy. So many people have side hustles, along with full-time jobs. People like to think it will slow down one day, when retirement comes, but for many it gets even busier. My mom retired at 65 and she is now 82. She became busier after retirement and I remember it was always easier to track her down when she worked because now I never know where she is. Between golfing, pickleball, boot camp, book club, travelling, visiting friends and family and volunteering, she is a busy lady. It’s wonderful to see people living life to the fullest rather than isolating and watching TV all day — although mom still finds time for Netflix, of course.
Having so many hobbies can be good, but regardless of your age, you need to decide if dating is a priority. I have been hearing a common complaint from men that women they meet seem to be too busy to meet. I have women I have either prospected, or who have come to me, looking for matchmaking help. Some indicate it would be wonderful to meet a good guy who could possibly be the one for a long-lasting, meaningful relationship. The women say all the right things and have amazing profiles, but when push comes to shove, many of these ladies can hardly make time to set up a coffee chat.The ladies tell me the date was nice and, yes, they plan to see him again, but when? I can’t help but wonder if it’s just an excuse. I wonder if the women are just not as keen as they claim to be. If you don’t have the kids for the week, and you absolutely can’t miss yoga to see this new fellow, I am guessing he can’t be that much of a priority. I am not sure if things have changed that much since I was dating, but if I had a yoga class scheduled, and I met someone about whom I was feeling excited, I may just save the downward dog for our date.
Many people would agree that dating has become a part-time job. It takes huge effort and commitment, especially if you are online dating and have to weed through all of your different apps. You just can’t complain about being single if you aren’t going to do anything about it. It’s like being on Tinder — both men and women are swiping right on each other, yet no conversation ever happens, let alone a face-to-face meeting, Why even bother being on it, other than for entertainment or validation reasons? Matchmaking is different. I do the work for you and will connect you with someone who matches you.But the difference is you will be meeting that person — and my suggestion is within the first week of being matched. In between dates, there should definitely be some correspondence and ice-breaking happening. If you were to ask a fitness trainer what the biggest excuse is for clients not coming to the gym, the trainer would say the client does not have the time. With fitness, you have to put in the time to see results. So, perhaps you can do your fitness at 5:30 a.m. and your dating at 5:30 p.m. We have all heard people complain about not liking their job. I always ask them if they have their resume ready to submit. Of course, “they don’t have time”If you want to date, get fit or get a new job, you will find the time. If you are in a rut and feeling you need to make time for some changes, think about the words to the Trooper song: “If you don’t like what you got, why don’t you change it? If your world is all screwed, up re-arrange it.”If you have time to meet me for coffee to learn more, contact me via email at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca.
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