I saw a funny post recently that stated: “2020 is a unique leap year — February had 29 days, March had 500 days and April has 5 years. ”It certainly feels like it, but in fact, if you can believe it, we are only in our fifth week of store and restaurant closures and event cancellations due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It seems much longer than five weeks, but I think it’s the uncertainty of when it will end that has warped our sense of time. At least with labour and childbirth, you know it’s ending soon. For couples who are both working from home and also trying to motivate their kids who are online schooling, and trying to explain to them whey they can’t go to their friends’ houses, it all seems overwhelming. I am guessing these couples are going to have rough patches to get through.
Now that it has been a few weeks of this new normal, I thought it would be interesting to do a poll and to see if I could get some honest answers. Out of 132 responses, I feel only about 10 of them were telling the truth. I am not saying there are hundreds of Pinocchios out there, and I don’t even think these people lied on purpose. But I think they actually lied to themselves and thought they were answering truthfully. My husband’s son suggested that if I asked the same question in a survey in which names were not connected to the answers, there may have been different results. Perhaps that’s true. Here was the question. Please answer honestly: If you are in isolation with your partner, please rate the following qualities between 1 and 5 — with 1 being most important and 5 being least important — as to what matters most to you being in isolation together. The options were A (funny), B (positive), C (gorgeous), D (kind) and E (confident). Almost every woman who answered placed “gorgeous” as least important. Men, on the other hand, answered “gorgeous” as being somewhat important. I feel that men were more honest in this regard. Ironically, many of the women who answered that looks are least important have told me before, when they were looking for a partner, that it was the most important quality. I wonder if this pandemic experience — the biggest crisis of our lifetime — has allowed them to reflect and possibly realize their priorities have shifted? I knew ahead of time that most people would not list “gorgeous” as the most important quality. (KTW editor Christopher Foulds jokingly listed C as all four answers. Knowing how beautiful his wife is, he can get away with that. She also happens to be just as beautiful on the inside.) Here’s what I think. If someone is kind, funny, smart, confident, patient, fit, healthy, musical, well traveled, those qualities make someone attractive. Visualize this scenario. You are upset and worried right now about being laid off and fearful of the future. Your partner puts the kids to bed, brings you a cup of tea, puts your feet up, gives you a massage, orders you takeout from Nandi’s Flavours of India, then calmly reassures you that they have your back, that they will be there to lift you up and will always be by your side. Now that is the kind of person you not only want to be in isolation with, but you want to be in life with.
I know people like that. If you would like to meet them, first by email, phone, FaceTime and a physical-distance date, let me know and I can introduce you. Contact me by email at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca.
Recent Comments