When I was a teen in the mid-1980’s , I watched the movie Cocoon, which starred Wilford Brimley. He played an elderly man at a rest home where all the residents were rejuvenated by aliens — but that wasn’t the incomprehensible part of the movie. Most shocking was the fact Brimley was 49 when he starred in the film. Can you imagine what Brimley must have felt like when director Ron Howard called him up and said, “Hey Wilford, since you look 80, how would you like to be in one of my upcoming films?”Years later, Wilford Brimley now looks his actual age. He is now 84. If there’s one thing in the matchmaking business I find the most frustrating, it’s when someone tells me how old they want their match to be. It may sound clichéd to say age is just a number, but it truly is. Of course, the exception would be if I am working for a 40-year-old man who wants a family and kids of his own. Obviously, I would be trying to match him with a woman who also wants children and who is of child-bearing age. However, once that phase of life is over, I can’t stress enough that age has nothing to do with the health, vibrancy and youthfulness of someone.
I have had both men and women in their 60s tell me they want their match to be in their 50s. These people don’t realize they could be missing out on perfect matches just a bit older than them. I also know for a fact that many people who want someone younger would not be able to keep up even with the older people I know. Why would someone want a partner who is far younger if they themselves are not fit and active? I have matched many couples who are the same age and I have matched some who are 10 or 15 years apart. I match based on physical, mental and personality matches. I match based on similar goals, hopes and dreams.Not all couples are going to match equally on fitness levels. My husband and I love skiing and trail running, but we don’t do them together. He is all caught up in the Strava social fitness network and his heart rate, whereas I prefer to go with my friends and talk about life.I am one year older than my husband. I know some women who are 10 years older than their husbands — and vice versa — but in the big picture, who really cares? What matters is chemistry, compatibility and attraction.None of that has to do with age.
People who don’t smoke, avoid the sun, eat healthy meals, exercise, drink water and get enough sleep can have skin that looks 20 years younger than their actual age. Then there are people who have smoked for years and worship the sun — and they can look two decades older than what appears on their birth certificates. Then there are some people who tend to wrinkle early and others who are blessed with great genes. Not all couples are going to age well together equally. Again, who cares?Traditionally, the general rule when it comes to appropriate age gaps in dating is to find someone within one-fifth of your age. Based on that, a 60-year-old would have a 12-year margin (between 48 and 72 years of age). YouI am not a fan of guidelines. It’s about being equal physically and in personality. Besides, women outlive men. There are 2,000 more single women in Kamloops than there are single men. Before guys get your hopes up, they should know these ladies must have been rejuvenated by aliens. They golf, hike, swim, travel and volunteer.If only Wilford Brimley were single. But he is not. His wife is 15 years younger than him. If you are happy, single and ready to share your life with a partner on an equal playing field, contact me by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.