Have you ever been out for dinner and you just can’t decide what you want to order off the menu?  There’s so much to choose from and it becomes overwhelming to pick between a pasta dish, the butter chicken or the salmon salad. They all sound so delicious, but you have to pick one.
Once the decision is made, you feel relieved and are looking forward to your meal. There is, however, a problem — while waiting for your dinner to be served, you notice other tantalizing plates being delivered to other tables and you suddenly feel you made the wrong choice.
This is a common occurrence in online dating. I am shocked at some of the stories I have been hearing from men and women about their experiences with the new technological choices in online dating apps. I’m not even sure what the answer is because I feel the ease of swiping and looking at available singles has turned into an addiction for many.
Would you believe some men and women have admitted to me that, while they were on a date with someone they met on Tinder, they have actually checked their cellphones during their date or shortly after to see if they have any new potential matches that may have been better than the person they were with?
It is downright scary to think the attention spans of online daters have become so short that they can’t even make it through a two-hour date without worrying if they missed out on something better. How can couples actually enter into a meaningful relationship without giving up the need of getting that instant fix to feel worthy or desired by someone online?
Last week on the Bachelor finale, Arie had a change of heart when, after proposing to Becca, he ended up deciding a few months later he in fact wanted to go back to Lauren. I understand that reality TV shows are not real life, but how is that different from people who sit and scroll through endless selfies, deciding who looks worth ordering up?
I met my husband online 10 years ago. When we were talking to each other, we did not have five other potential matches on the backburner. The person you are talking to and dating deserves your undivided attention.
Only by way of weaning off of the temptation will we stop the “breadcrumbing,” “catch-and-release,” “ghosting,” “zombie-ing,” “haunting,” “benching” and many other actions that have become online dating terms.
Let’s try to get back to old-fashioned dating terms like flirting, crush, commitment, courting, monogamy and love!
If you are happy, single and ready to date one person at a time, contact me by email at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca. This week, I will draw for a $50 gift certificate to Nandi’s Flavours of India, where, by the way, if you ordered the butter chicken, you made the right decision.