Wanna hear a weird deal breaker?

Deal-breakers have been a bit of a contentious issue over the last five years.

I always ask clients for their non-starters before I begin the search for their potential partners.

I recently posted a funny cartoon on my social media showing a man and woman who decided they weren’t a match after all because they found out they both hang the toilet paper roll differently.

I had a few people tell me customers should have every right to their deal-breakers and preferences and that I shouldn’t dismiss a potential client because of them.

Here’s my position on this.

If someone had a long list of deal -breakers — such as a specific height and weight, particular hair colour, a certain job and even food preferences — I would know the chance of finding a partner who fit that slim parameter would be very limited.

So it doesn’t seem fair for me to take their money and have them assume I will find a person with those very specific requests.

(Some people would say they are looking for a unicorn.)

Imagine buying a gym membership and, on your first day there, you walk in and see there are no cardio machines, no weights — no equipment at all. You would be upset that the gym didn’t let you know there was no inventory.  

Let’s say a woman tells me the man she will date must not be any shorter than 5-foot-10 and I happened to be working for a client who fit all of her other criteria, but was just one inch shorter than her request.

As a matchmaker, I would try to reason with her. I would ask her to at least meet this man, who happens to fit more of her criteria than anyone I have ever met —  and to forget about that one inch didn’t match up.  

Serious deal-breakers also include smoking, over-drinking, an unhealthy lifestyle, and not being over past relationships. 

Here’s a deal-breaker I felt was very strange. A man told me he would only date a woman who was from Kamloops.

I told him that would be easy as the majority of my clients are local. He then elaborated, explaining the potential partner needed to be FROM Kamloops, as in born in the Tournament Capital.

He explained that a friend of his married a woman from Toronto and, every holiday, they had to take the kids and travel to Ontario. He did not want to live that life.

So, I asked about Calgary, Vancouver, Kelowna and a few cities closer to Kamloops to determine how far his boundary was set. I certainly would feel a little awkward asking all the women for their birth certificates to ensure that were born locally.

Ironically, he did end up buying a house with one of my clients, who is from Ontario. He compromised a bit and fell in love.

I find it interesting how what seems important can change a bit when you are with the right person.

When it comes to non-starters, really think hard about what it is you absolutely cannot live with.

We all have preferences, of course, and I will take those into consideration and work hard to find your perfect match.  

I am having a contest for married or long-term couples who have been together for a decade or  longer. Email me your love story.  I would love to know more about your deal-breakers, how you navigated through them and the key to longevity in your relationship.

Email me at  holmes@wheretheheartis.ca and you could win a $100 gift certificate  to Harvest by Nandi and a $100 gift certificate to Save-On Foods. in Sahali.