What do secrets, cleavage, PIN numbers and gossip all have in common?
They are all things we can be tempted to reveal that could come back to haunt us.
Many of the profiles people send to me — sent for a potential match to learn more about them — can vary drastically.
Some have obviously done this before and they provide a well-crafted description of who they are and who they are looking for. Others are more succinct and send two sentences about themselves. There are also those who add a touch of humour, which is a great way to show personality.
Then there’s the really interesting ones who must think they are filling out a form at customs as they reveal more than the current Fire and Fury bestseller. They tell me what food they like, what current prescription medications they are on, what surgeries they have had, which politicians got their vote.
I love how honest and transparent these people are, but there is a fine line between a bit of an overview of what makes someone tick, to sending me the information equivalent of vile of saliva to mail off to the 23 and Me DNA testing website.
I love going to movies. My biggest pet peeve, though, is about how movie trailers have become longer and longer as they reveal far too much of the plot. By the end of the preview, I feel like I have already seen the movie. I would much prefer a small snippet of what the movie is about and how it will make me feel. Even a cliffhanger would be awesome.
The same can be said for a dating profile. Regardless of what people send me, I eventually meet everyone in person. I love learning about people and it’s always refreshing getting to know more about them after I read their profile.
I become a little like their agent as I seek a partner for them.
I ask people to send me age-occupation-hobbies-qualities in a partner they feel are important. I also ask for deal breakers. It is always preferable when clients add unique specifics. For example, I had two people who listed their top hobby as craft beer tasting. So, even if those two didn’t have romantic chemistry, they certainly found a new beer buddy. I had another two people who said they love Music in the Park and would love someone to share it with.
The risky areas, of course, are religion and politics. I wrote a column last year entitled Faith, which you can find on my website under the Blog link. I highly suggest re-reading that column because the answer is so easy on that topic. First dates are not the best platform to discuss politics (unless you both voted for Todd Stone yesterday). It’s important to remember that controversial topics should be left on the back burner for a few dates. Once you get to know and like each other, and have built up a mutual level of respect, it’s easier to accept having different opinions and it doesn’t seem as important anymore. I speak from experience.
Last summer at Hot Nite in the City, I ran into a couple I had set up. They were admiring the classic cars while I was admiring what a great match they made. Earlier this week, I saw a couple I set up out running together; another couple I introduced hiked the West Coast Trail together. I was recently volunteering at the Kamloops Film Society and saw a couple I had matched attending the movie. Of course, I waited for the trailers to be finished before taking my seat.
If you are single, happy and want to share some good times with a new partner, contact me by email at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca. I will draw for a $50 gift certificate from Save-On-Foods so you can grab some goodies for the big game this Sunday.