In my last column I talked about the ongoing push from women to ban filter apps from phones as it’s creating mental health and body dysmorphia issues among young women. Many agree that it’s a slippery slope when these ladies want fillers and Botox so they can look more like their snapchat image rather than what they see in the mirror. With that being said, I have had something on my mind for a while that I feel needs to be said since there seems to be so much concern about women’s feelings but not as much for men.
A few months ago I came across a meme on my Facebook feed. This was a viral image that had millions of views but it appears on your feed if you have a friend that comments on it. So the image was of two shirtless men, both good looking and fit. One was tanned, and more filled out than the other, but both definitely looked fit, healthy, and attractive. The question on the meme was titled ‘THIS or THAT?’
I felt uncomfortable reading the answers. Maybe I am getting older and somewhat prudish, but I couldn’t help but wonder how these women would feel if the photos were of females. One with the perfect ripped body, tight stomach, curves in all the right places, and the other photo of a much heavier woman.
Some of the answers women were commenting read ‘ He’s too skinny, ‘ or ‘Not enough Meat on him’ or ‘No thank you’ and thousands more. All I could think about is the ongoing challenges women have with body images, that they obviously might not realize that men have the same feelings about their bodies’ as well. Some men have actually told me their self esteem from being too thin is awful and they feel ashamed and embarrassed. They wonder why we spend so much time coddling women who are large, saying not to fat shame, yet they think guys can take a beating.
I kept thinking about that man while reading these comments that women were making. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate beautiful bodies for both men and women. I know the hard work and discipline that goes into achieving those ripped abs, and defined muscles. All men and women who can maintain that desired look should be congratulated as that’s alot of work. But shaming men who are thin, or women who are heavy is territory I don’t like entering.
Some women may not believe this, but many fitness trainers would tell you that it is easier for a heavy woman to lose weight, than for a thin man to build muscle. I know a man who was frustrated as he lost 10lb during covid.. Some women might respond with, ‘If only I could be so lucky’
I can tell you that after 5 yrs of Matchmaking, the #1 criteria for all women and men is that they want their partner to be healthy and fit. Sure some of that might be an image thing as looks are important to them, but the majority of people want to be healthy and active as they head into retirement the best they can, to enjoy a long life of hiking, traveling, and staying active.
I know I must live in a fantasy world wishing some of those comments on This or That would have been… Depends which one is kind, loyal, caring, tolerant, funny, smart, likes animals etc etc. Rather than he’s too skinny.
If you are single, happy, and would be fine with either of these guys, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will try to find you This or That!