In 1962, Neil Sedaka recorded the hit song “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”. Fifty-five years later, these words still ring true.
During the last few months, I have been boasting about how much success I am having in the world of matchmaking. While it’s true I have a knack for connecting people, it doesn’t mean I can stop them from disconnecting. While it brings me joy to match couples, it really does affect me when the relationships dissolve. In the past couple of weeks, I have heard from a few people who, for whatever reason, have stopped seeing each other. Whether you are are the breaker or breakee, both roles are painful. It’s a weird situation for me to be in, as I was instrumental in bringing these couples together and I was on the outside once they are dating. Herein lies the question: How long should one wait, post-breakup, before getting out there again? The answer is not about time, but about how you feel. If there is any lingering sadness, resentment or jealousy, it is not time.
You should never want to meet someone new until you are truly over the past relationship. I have to confess that while I call myself a matchmaker, I haven’t had any of my couples get married — yet. The longest relationship I set up lasted six years and I have a few that are at the one-year mark. But I have to remind you I am not a relationship counsellor, nor an expert on how to keep the spark alive. That’s your job.
It’s akin to when a company places an ad in KTW to drive traffic to their business. We may be able to send them there, but after that, they are on their own. The best advice I was given was that relationships are not 50/50 — they are 100/100. If both parties put in 100 per cent of themselves, they will have a better chance at success. For those coming out of a relationship, think of the words of Gloria Gaynor in her breakup song “I Will Survive”: “Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no not I, I will survive Oh as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive I’ve got all my life to live And I’ve got all my love to give I’ll survive I will survive.” Like I say, when one door closes . . .
Take some time to heal, then contact me via email at email@example.com.
This week, I will confidentially draw for a $50 gift certificate to On the Rocks Pub in Aberdeen.