If you didn’t see the recent Oprah Winfrey interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, chances are you have heard about it. There were some surprising allegations and concerning issues brought up, most notably regarding mental health and race. I’m not spending any time discussing the aftermath of that, but there was one specific item I was curious about that had me shaking my head. When Markle was asked if she knew what she was getting into when she and the prince got together, Markle said she never did any research about her husband-to-be or the royals at all.
Say what?
I get that we can’t believe everything we read, and perhaps she knew enough about him due to his fame. In addition, she was introduced to the prince by a mutual friend, so perhaps she didn’t feel the need to find out any more than that.


For us average folks, though, regardless if you meet someone online, through a friend, or via me, we all know that as soon as you have the person’s name, you are plunking it into a search engine to check out their social media posts.
We don’t only do this in relationship searches, but also when considering hiring someone or representing a person in court. You can bet a potential lover, employer or lawyer is going to do their due diligence and see what kind of lifestyle you have.
Some people have no online presence at all. I also realize social media does not truly show who someone really is. They could appear happy with all their posts and actually struggle with depression. So, it’s certainly not the be all and end all. Just as you can’t judge real life from photos posted online, it’s really important to meet in person and not judge someone only by what you see on Facebook.


That being said, there are definitely some items that will be red flags if you have these on your social media pages and you are looking for a partner:
• Any political hate speech. If you have posts blaming the government for the pandemic, or Dr. Bonnie Henry for her decisions, chances are you won’t be getting that date. In fact, negative posts with a lot of complaining are big red flags. It’s fine to have opinions, but how you express them says a lot.
• Photos with your ex. Certainly there will be family photos, old vacation shots, holiday gatherings, etc., but if you are looking cozy and affectionate with your previous partner on a post, and three weeks later you are looking for a new relationship, this is a red flag for many.
• Too many filtered photos. This could indicate self-esteem issues when you prefer posting photos that are altered, giving you longer eyelashes, smoother skin, bigger eyes, etc.


And, for those with a Facebook profile, but who do not use it often, it might be a good idea to change your relationship status if you are single. If someone sees you are listed as “married” or “in a relationship,” or “it’s complicated,” that could be an issue.  
Keep in mind the fact I meet everyone in person before setting them up. Match and Bumble don’t do that.
Consider me your research assistant. I don’t have any royalty signed up (yet), but I could know your Prince Charming. I also have a few jokers if that’s more your style. Contact me by email at at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca to find out who they really are.