Larry King passed away last month at the age of 87.  He certainly had an interesting life and was married a whopping 8 times!  While he wasn’t a successful husband, he made up for it as a TV host.  He interviewed many fascinating celebrities, politicians, actors, singers, comedians, presidents, and they were all riveting to watch..   Even if you weren’t interested in the person, King had a way of pulling you into the interview and they were riveting.  He had a 65 yr career in broadcasting and he was a natural.  The reason he was so incredible was that he really didn’t talk very much.  He often mused a famous quote  ” I never learned anything while I was talking”   Isn’t that such a profound statement? He always said the only way to learn is to listen.


I always remind clients about this for some guidance for their first few dates, because one of the biggest complaints I get are that some of the date conversations are very one sided.  I give people the benefit of the doubt as they could be nervous so giving it another couple of dates to know for sure.  
I know from many years as a radio announcer one of the biggest mistakes we could make was ‘DEAD AIR’   I used to even have dead air nightmares.. Dead Air is when there is nothing on the radio.  No music, no commercial, no talking, absolutely nothing.  That is a Big Broadcast Blunder!  After all, people will most likely change the station if there’s nothing on it. 


Dead air in person is not always a bad thing.  Not everyone gets freaked out by silence like I do.  I have to confess that when I have conversations with people there isn’t much dead air.  Yes I have been known to talk a lot, but when I meet people I am really curious and inquisitive to learn about them.  I have never met someone new and not asked ‘Where are you from’..  It always leads to six degrees of separation. 


There are so many cool facts to learn about people..  Here are a few ice breaker questions that you can’t go wrong with.  
1- What was the first concert you ever saw? 2- If you could have dinner with a Dead Celebrity who would it be? 3- What would be your last meal on death row?
Those questions can certainly lead to fun playful banter.   Also if you make a mental note on #3 and if things start going well, and you invite the person over for dinner, you could show how well you listened by making that meal!  ( Although since it was a death row question they may wonder what is planned for later)  


Another talented interviewer is Columbo.  I may be aging myself, but Peter Falk played the Detective in the 80’s and he had a great skill at putting the person at ease and then in a masterful way he somehow got them to open up and spill the beans.  
I am not suggesting you turn into a TV Host or a Private Investigator, but it is important to really show an interest in getting to know them.  Where did they grow up, career changes, Grandchildren, favorite travel places etc.  If suddenly during the date you find yourself in a situation where you are really talking a lot about yourself, stop right away, and start asking questions.  


In case you were wondering about my answers, 1- ABBA2- Elvis Presley3- Seafood Platter followed by Cheesecake..
If you are happy, and single contact me at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca and there won’t be much dead air.