I have recently started golfing. I am now thinking about quitting.

If you haven’t seen the stand-up comedy bit by the late Robin Williams about golf, Google it. Williams says the reason they call it a “stroke” is because you bloody well feel like having a stroke after you swing the club.  

I was having an issue using hybrids, so I reached out to the best golfer I know and asked for some help. I am biased, of course, but my son is pretty fantastic at the sport and is now training to enter a long drive competition in the United States.

I went to him with this one problem, and found out I had myriad other issues to deal with: I am too far away from the ball, I am trying to hit it too hard, I am using the wrong clubs, I am swinging too hard, I’m not keeping my eye on the ball, I am slicing, I am topping, I am shanking — and the list goes on and on.  

Unlike other sports, it’s really hard to shake it off and get back in the game. I realize this is also how some people feel about dating. They say they just want to give up after a few bad dates. When I meet with potential clients and they tell me some of their online dating fiascos, they feel like they never want to go on another date again. It’s how I feel about golf.

Some people put in so much effort and they say the last thing they want is to repeat all that small talk and the same stories over and over again. This is exactly how I feel about teeing it up again as I figure it’s just going to slice, topple or shank. I was even told that to actually improve at golf, I may have to get worse before I get better. This is the same as dating, too, as sometimes it’s not just about finding what you are looking for, but realizing what you are not looking for.  

My son told me to stop worrying about all of my issues while golfing and focus on one or two and try to relax and enjoy the process. That’s also the advice I give clients for dating. Rather than focus on so many items on your checklist, pick a couple of important ones and the rest might just take care of themselves.

(When we go to the grocery store, we don’t take a list of what we don’t want to buy; we focus on what we want to buy.)

Dating, like golf, can actually be fun if you take the pressure off. Get to know someone and go for a hike, a bike ride, a coffee, a walk or a picnic. If you are really brave, maybe even try a golf date.  Good conversation and laughter come easier when you are doing an activity together.  

For any of you thinking about dating and wanting to find that PERFECT 10, contact me via email at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca and I will show you my scorecard.