I have been known to post very questionable selfies.
I’m not talking about the bathroom mirror, cleavage, filtered selfie. I am talking about the unflattering shots I don’t double-check before posting. I’ve been told I should instead hit the delete button.
I still haven’t quite figured out where to look at the camera when taking the photo, which leaves me looking somewhat stunned and confused.
If I was to pick a photo to use for my dating profile, I obviously wouldn’t choose one of these. However, I’m sure you, like me, can look much different in photos than you do in person. I have pictures posted of me engaged in my favourite pastime — running in the trails — sweating, tired and wearing no make-up first thing in the morning. I also have photos posted of me with make-up applied and wearing a fancy dress at a gala.
I recently shared a photo of what I looked like after an episode outside amid the pollen during an allergy flare-up. (James Peters of CFJC-TV quipped sarcastically with his quick wit: “Swipe left.”)
This is exactly the response many people have when I send them photos of potential matches. They automatically judge or assume they would never be attracted to the person. This attitude drives me bonkers.
I can honestly tell you that out of the hundreds of people I have met, every one of them is better in person than their photograph. In person, eyes can sparkle with laughter and personality comes through. In person, you can see kindness and vulnerability.
I explain this to everybody, but they still seem to judge the photo and let that determine if they will meet in person. I only match people I think have a fairly equal level of physical attributes. That being said, some of the photos people send in are probably not the best choices to showcase one’s self. Much like a realtor gives you suggestions on the best photos to post of your listing, here’s my suggestions for creating the best profile photos for matchmaking. I suggest people send two or three photos taken within the past six months to a year, assuming there hasn’t been a substantial weight gain or loss:
• A good clear head shot without sunglasses or a hat;
• A full body lifestyle photo showing your personality and interests, such as hiking, boating, travelling, socializing and skiing. Just show what is naturally you;
• Include a fancy picture if you wish, perhaps from your Christmas party or when you are in a gown or suit.
As we all know, first impressions are important. For some reason, people seem to find photos the first impression, so be yourself — your true self. There is more to a person than a photo. I know people who, after declining a meet-and-greet based on a photo, are pleasantly surprised when I finally get them to agree to meet in person.
With apologies to Rod Stewart, every picture does not tell a story — every person does. Let them tell you that story in person.
If you are a single, happy and looking to find someone, contact me via email at email@example.com.