“I always swore I would never marry a hunter as a child, not in a million years,” she said.  “We just differ drastically. “We learn from each other and we have spirited discussions about things we disagree on, but at the end of the day, we love each other very much.”
Those words above are not mine, but they were taken from the Instagram post of Carrie Underwood — Grammy award-winner, American Idol winner and wife of NHL hockey player Mike Fisher.   Her post got me thinking about deal breakers as I hear about them so much in my business.  Deal breakers are so important and must be taken seriously.  I have had women say the same thing as Carrie Underwood about hunting. I understand that guns and the idea of visualizing Bambi on the receiving end of one is just too much to cope with.  Personally, I could never pull the trigger, but I certainly do enjoy barbecued hamburgers once in a while, so who am I to judge?  So for the ladies who feel they could never date a hunter, be aware that Carrie Underwood thought the same thing, but she found a way to compromise when she met her perfect match.

 I also was told by a woman that she would only date a vegetarian. This was a tough one for me because I think that would really limit her options and she could very well pass up the perfect person for her, based on the fact he may eat meat a few times a week.  If someone lives a healthy, plant-based, no meat, or no dairy lifestyle, that’s wonderful for them.  But if a person came along that was equally healthy, active, kind, compassionate, smart and successful and ate chicken or fish three-times a week, I don’t think there would be anything wrong with that.  But ultimately, I have to listen to my clients.  I also feel I need to offer some insight, guidance and advice if it appears these deal breakers become unreasonable.  I don’t want to enter into the height-deal breaker-discussion again, but it still keeps coming up, and as far as I am concerned if a man came along that was perfect in every way for a woman, but was two inches shorter than what she was hoping for, and she was willing to let him pass by based on that two inches, then I could not work for someone like that.  I am the same when it comes to a man. If the perfect woman happened to be 10 pounds heavier than what he had hoped for, then ultimately, he needs to get over that.

 I recently had a man, close to 60-years-old, tell me he would not date a woman with short hair.  Don’t worry ladies, I can’t work for someone that feels hair length is an important aspect of picking a partner.  Don’t get me wrong. I understand that attraction absolutely has to be there, but I don’t know many guys who don’t think Halle Berry is beautiful or didn’t fall in love with Demi Moore in the movie Ghost with her really short hairdo.  Likewise, I don’t know many women who would tell Keith Urban to hit the road because he is a few inches too short.  Here’s a list of non-starter deal breakers posted to my social media by people who say they are not willing to compromise on these traits:Smoking; racist; abusive; bad hygiene; bad teeth; Trump-lover; lazy; unhealthy (really overweight); couch potatoes; liar; rude; clingy; drinks or tokes daily; drugs; anger issues; bashes their ex. Guess what? I actually agree with those deal breakers.   I also think other issues need to be brought up too. Say, for example, if someone knows they don’t want children. It’s important to reveal that before getting deep into a relationship and wasting everyones’ time.  Also, if someone has a severe allergy to cats and someone just got a kitten that will live for 20 years.

 Lifestyle choices are also important. Just because you may want someone to go to church with you doesn’t mean they are living that kind of life.  It would be like someone who goes to the gym every day, but also eats doughnuts right after their work out.  Someone may not attend church, but live an honest life and have the kindest most forgiving heart and accepts all humans regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion and that is what makes them a good match, not what church they go to. So I ask everyone to have an open heart and an open mind. Maybe you will meet someone who is 5′ 9″, eats chick pea salad, has a short haircut and is the perfect match for you.  As long as the only person they have no tolerance for has an orange face and lives in the White House.   Contact me at holmes@wheretheheartis.ca and let me help you find your perfect match.